Presence and a Goodbye, for now.

22 Jan

In case you haven’t noticed by my current radio silence, I have decided to take some time off from blogging. I have no idea whether this will be permanent, or only temporary, but it is time.

When I started blogging back in 2009, I loved having a voice in the fashion community. I would spend my open hours scanning Style.com, and twisting runway looks into more budget and office-friendly realities. Working a 12 hour day, then coming home to polyvore, and editing, and writing till 1 am was my way of relaxing. It was therapeutic to have a passion outside of the office. I met amazing friends from industry contacts to fellow bloggers balancing the work-blog-life scales. Blogger brunches were a highlight of my calendar. Spending my time scanning through twitter, perfecting that pose, instagramming every moment worth sharing, it was all things I loved and looked forward to. Until it became exhausting, a second job, a hassle. I felt like I NEEDED to get that post up, I NEEDED to hit that Google Analytic goal. I would get upset when a post I worked on for hours only hit a minimal view count. My excitement for sharing my point of view was morphed into a competitive spirit that took the fun out of blogging.

Around a year ago, I remember meeting some blogger girls for dinner. From the moment we sat down at the table, it was tweeting “we’re having so much fun” to instagramming the cocktails we ordered to “oh wait, don’t take a bite yet, my shot was blurry.” Almost the entire meal was spent digitally sharing rather than connecting in person. That’s when blogging turned for me. I realized how many people (including me) are ignoring their dinner mate for that instagram filter, or checking back their likes instead of actually watching the sunset. I wasn’t being present at all.

I honestly believe technology has become an addiction. And while I still can’t fathom being the person who doesn’t check their social media, I am trying to limit my use. Honestly, my boyfriend rarely even checks his gmail let alone his Facebook or instagram. I found myself being jealous at his lack of need for a growing follower count.

I also saw the change in blogs. What went from opinions and content shifted to ℅, gifted, sponsored posts. Many bloggers have their site as their full time job, so I understand why they jump at sponsored posts. But for a fashion blog to post about gum, or house cleaning product, just sounded so out of place on their site. Where twitter was for conversations it now is a way to share affiliate links to click to your pinterest to that “wish list” item that reallllly isn’t on your list to buy, but more like has a $30 commission rate. Instagram where it once was a place to capture a moment, is now a place to post your DSLR, photoshop edited outfit post, link to your collage, and once again, monetize. I found myself scrolling through instagram at edited photos, new handbags, trips to Europe and I wasn’t happy with my amazing life.

If you’ve followed me on social media you know I have dealt with a crippling health issue the last year. My health is what brought me home to Hawaii, it’s what made me quit my job to take care of my health, to replace brunch and drinks dates with 5 doctors appointments a week. There were days I could not make my own meals, shower on my own, or really even walk without assistance. I’ve finally found the light at the end of the tunnel with a diagnosis and will be getting surgery this coming Monday. To have these issues and yet have brands emailing me “Lauren, it has been 2 days since your product has arrived, why have you not instagrammed them yet?” Well, it was once again, pressure and exhaustion that I did not need.

In the past few weeks I have un-followed many on instagram, twitter, and beyond who post selfie after ℅ shot, after sponsored post. I have filled my feed with photographers, lifestyle bloggers, interior design. People who share a passion other than their selfie. I have moved on from the #ootd mirror shot, and I could not be happier. More importantly, I have put my phone in my purse and left it there. I have had date night without the phone on the table, I have enjoyed a sunset without snapping a photo, I have woken up and not immediately checked my notifications.

My goal for 2014 is to be more present in my life and the best way I know how to do that is to live in my moment, not others’ snapped online. I still feel I check social media too often, but I’m aware and I’m trying to change. For now, I’ll be posting over at LilikoiLo.tumblr.com. It’s a work in progress of a website, but it will be more general thoughts, feelings, photos not only fashion and beauty. I thank you all who have joined me in this amazing journey of blogging. I have met amazing people who I still consider friends to this date. Blogging taught me how to find my own voice and I hope it use it for good in the future. In the mean time, if you have a tumblr or love someone else’s tumblr please comment below with the link or tweet it to me, so I may follow you!

Thank you all dear readers. xoxo

 

Pins sourced here. 

20 Responses to “Presence and a Goodbye, for now.”

  1. James January 22, 2014 at 6:41 PM #

    Thanks for sharing Lo!

    Best of luck in your future online pursuits!

    I have a few favorite posts from e2r and certainly look forward to your future musings and photos!

    Xoxo
    -JB

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:46 PM #

      Thank you so much!

  2. Adiel January 22, 2014 at 7:39 PM #

    I’ve noticed the absence and move, but had no idea it was health-related. Sending prayers for good health your way!

    As for the blog, It seems you and I are of the same mindset. I blog not to get paid (though I can’t deny it’s a nice bonus at times), but I blog as a creative release. When it becomes to stressful, I take a step back to re-center.

    The competitive atmosphere and the way people protect exclusivity and appearance over friendship and true connections makes me question the group I’m now associated with as a blogger. These days it seems all about how many items you can have gifted, how many sponsored posts you can get, and how many party invites you receive… it really makes me long for times past.

    I fully back you in this decision and will follow you over at the new spot! Best wishes for your future, Lauren!

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:46 PM #

      Thank you so much for your sweet words and comment Adiel. I also am so happy that through the blog we were able to connect in real life. xoxo

  3. Kimberly January 22, 2014 at 7:50 PM #

    I’m so inspired by your courage and honesty. So much of what you expressed here resonates deeply with me. Going through my own health struggles has made me re-evaluate the “why” of my own blog and it’s made me take a hard look at myself and my motivations. I hope you are able to find peace & healing in your time spent away from blogging and social media. More bloggers should be this transparent – it would make for a much richer experience as a reader. Thank you for sharing with us! xoxo

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:47 PM #

      Kimberly, thank you so much for your kindness. I hope your health continues to improve as well. Peace is exactly what I’m going for! :)

  4. elalaine January 22, 2014 at 8:36 PM #

    Not everyone realizes the importance of being present and enjoying each and every moment, but you have. Good for you!

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:48 PM #

      So true. It’s a process for sure. I’ll be trying to be better each day! Thank you!

  5. Maiah January 22, 2014 at 8:58 PM #

    I love you LB. Beautifully written and so strong in your voice. Plus, only my biggest and best wishes for a super healthy and happy 2014. It’s your year, darling. Excited to see and hear about you living it.

    xo,Mai

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:48 PM #

      Thank you Maiah! I am hoping that both of us have amazing health this year and hope to continue to read your blog when you have the time to post. xoxoxo

  6. Rosy January 22, 2014 at 9:25 PM #

    I want to wish you the very best. I enjoyed your blog. Thank you for offering us tips and tricks. I just hope you recuperate and heal quickly after your surgery. Hoping you the best of luck on everything you do and encounter. Being happy is the best choice. Good luck! Xxxxxx Rosy

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:49 PM #

      Thank you so much Rosy. You have been such an active reader, especially on my Facebook page and I sincerely appreciate it. xo

  7. Nicole @ Treasure Tromp January 22, 2014 at 11:20 PM #

    love you, Lo!

    ps,I owe you an email!

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:49 PM #

      xo Nicole!!!! I hope to get that email sooner rather than later you busy girl!

  8. islandjen January 23, 2014 at 11:53 AM #

    This is so great…I know I’ve been focusing on being more “all-in” when I’m with friends and family…which means less phone time. I hope it becomes a growing trend!

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:51 PM #

      I love that you understand where I’m coming from. Being with family and friends are number one priority. xo

  9. Meghan January 23, 2014 at 10:24 PM #

    You already know this but what you write I can so relate to. I applaud you for taking the next step and starting a new chapter! Never forget that you are strong and wise beyond what you know. Here for you if you ever need me and praying your surgery goes well! Xo

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:53 PM #

      Thank you so much for always being so sweet. I wish you the best of health and recovery as well! Thanks for the positivity Meghan!

  10. Jenn J. January 24, 2014 at 7:08 PM #

    Ah! I’ve so enjoyed your blog over the years. I’m sad that you’re taking a breather but completely understand. I’ve begun unfollowing a lot of blogs simply because I am tired of their content… or lack thereof.

    I look forward to keeping in touch with you in other ways and thank you for letting us have a glimpse of your fabulous life. I’ll be sending you plenty of good juju this week. I’m so glad that you’ve got a light at the end of the tunnel. XO

    • everydaytorunway February 5, 2014 at 9:54 PM #

      I am so happy that through the blog we were able to reconnect a bit! Lucky for instagram we’ll see each other there :) haha

      Thank you so much for all your support through the blog years, I sincerely appreciate it!

      xo

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